Amy Vaughn:
Alright. Hello, everyone, and welcome to our weekly power lounge. This is your place to hear authentic conversations from those who have power to share. My name is Amy Vaughn, and I am the owner and chief empowerment officer of Together Digital, a diverse and collaborative community of women who choose to share their knowledge, power, and connections. You can learn about us and join the movement at togetherindigital.com. Today, I’m excited to welcome and, and and welcome you all to an insightful episode of the Power Lounge as we are going to explore a purpose driven living and authentic fulfillment through the lens of reinvention. Today, we are honored to have Yvette Simpson with us, a truly inspiring speaker, attorney, DEIB leader, and political strategist, someone who has allowed curiosity to inspire and lead her down many paths. Yvette is here to help us discover the essence of fulfillment by embracing self love, seizing opportunities aligned with our true calling, and debunking societal norms that limit us.
Amy Vaughn:
Through her wisdom, we will recognize our intrinsic value and the power to manifest our dreams into reality. She’s the author of On Purpose, The Power of Authenticity and Intention, and the host of the fabulous, The Power of Why podcast. Yvette’s mission is to empower personal growth and a positive global change. Y’all, this is why we’re already friends. We are actually looking across the table from each other in the same room. So everyone, please get ready to be uplifted, my friends, because the remarkable Yvette Simpson is in the room with us today, and we’re gonna be talking about living authentically and achieving purposeful fulfillment. Thank you so much for being here with us today.
Yvette Simpson:
For having me, Amy. I think we can fairly say that we’re sisters now. I think my friend doesn’t quite capture it. I think we’re sisters. And so it’s such a joy to be welcomed into this space with you, to talk to your amazing audience about something that is really near and dear to me. So I hope we have an amazing conversation. And as always, if someone gets one nugget of wisdom or insight that helps them do things even a little differently, then I’ve done the right thing. And I feel proud of that.
Amy Vaughn:
Absolutely. I am right there with you, my friend. Right there with you. So this is one of the questions, honestly, of all the questions I have for you today that I was most excited to ask you about, and that is, what were you like as a kid, And what did you want to be when you grew up?
Yvette Simpson:
So I was the kid who suffered from severe FOMO. I was the nosy kid, the inquisitive kid. So I’ve always been this way. So, of course, I’m talking about curiosity and asking questions. I was the kid that asked a million questions. Right? Like, if, you know, you said the sky was blue, I’d say, why, over and over again. So I’ve been asking this question my whole life. I was what my grandmother would describe as an old soul.
Yvette Simpson:
She swore that I had lived on the earth before because I was just more adult than kid. You know, when most people were, I was watching Nick at Nite when I was, like, a kid. Like, who I’m watching, like, Mary Tyler Moore as a kid.
Amy Vaughn:
It
Yvette Simpson:
shows. Who does that? Right? So, I was that kid. I was also the kid that, like, was bossy. So I was told that when I was 2 years old, the adults were up. And I used to wanna be up with the adults. I was in their face. What are you talking about? I always wanted to know. But when it was time to go to bed, I was done.
Yvette Simpson:
And so the adults were still up, and I would get up out of my bed and go back over, and I go, go to bed. Go to bed. I literally told adults to go to bed. What in the world? So I always tell people who have children, your kids will show you who they are from the very beginning. Don’t push that down. Nurture that. Because, I am a boss now. I was meant to be bossy.
Yvette Simpson:
I was meant to ask questions. It’s what I do. And I was showing that really, really early. And so I was 8 years old when I decided I wanted to be a lawyer. And I think my 8 year old brain has a lot of women. You got women in your circle. So I’ll tell the story this way. Do you remember that I wanna be books? We used to have those when I was a kid.
Yvette Simpson:
It was I wanna be this, I wanna be that. And I pulled out the book for I wanna be a lawyer, and I said to the universe, that’ll be me. There’s a guy standing in front of the judge. I said, that’ll be me, but I’ll be wearing a skirt. That was my 8 year old way of saying, I’m gonna do this, and I know that women can do it. I’m gonna be a woman who does it. So, yeah, I was 8 years old when I decided I wanted to be a lawyer and accomplish that dream not long after that. You know? So I was kind of in the pursuit of that.
Yvette Simpson:
And I think it wasn’t about the profession of law. It was about my perception of law as a way to make change, social justice, to help people. And I knew that, even at that age that I had the skill set, to make an argument and to hopefully help people through that.
Amy Vaughn:
I love it. I love it. We would have been best buds in
Yvette Simpson:
the work.
Amy Vaughn:
If that
Yvette Simpson:
was a handful.
Amy Vaughn:
Okay. Oh my goodness. Such troublemakers, but they’re such a good way.
Yvette Simpson:
Angel. Right?
Amy Vaughn:
But it’s such a good way. And I love that, like you said, they didn’t, they didn’t force that out of you. They let that be and let that flourish and let that grow and look what a little change maker and renaissance woman you became. Let’s get into that a little bit more. What was your career journey like? Because I know, you know, you’re not like you said right before we get on, I’m not like a, quote, unquote, woman in digital, but I think there’s so much about your career and your journey that is inspired, that, you know, does lend itself to a lot of what these women who are listening, who are also just professional women making their way in the world, can get from your experience and story.
Yvette Simpson:
Yeah. It’s funny because I was on a journey of pursuit of becoming a lawyer, very narrowly focused for a very long time, you know, and did everything that I needed to do. You know, I did a mock trial in high school. You know, I go to the library. I would read books about Supreme Court justices. I was very clear. And being the first in my family to go to college and not really having role models, and I told anybody who would listen. I’m gonna be a lawyer.
Yvette Simpson:
I’m gonna be a lawyer. Manifested that thing in a real way. And then I got to the profession, and I realized, this isn’t exactly the way I expected to do this. And so rather than suffering through it and suffering is a strong word because the profession of law is sophisticated. I got to work on really challenging problems. I got to work with amazing clients and make real change, but it didn’t feel like enough. And I knew there was something more. But I’ll just add a little note here because I think we all know that feeling.
Yvette Simpson:
We’ve all had that moment where we’re like, this isn’t enough. I want more. And what most of us do is we’re like, oh, that’s crazy. You just ignore it. And what I did was I said, no, I need to listen to that. So my first career shift, for real. I mean, I worked a job right out of college, moved to LA. I was in marketing, because I had a mass communication degree and a political science degree and a minor concentration in business law.
Yvette Simpson:
So the busybody in me has always been here. So I double majored and minored, and I worked 4 jobs in college. She’s always been her. She’s always been her. She shows up. So, but fast forward to law. After working for a few years at amazing law firms, doing sophisticated work, I realized it wasn’t enough. And I said, I gotta do something about that.
Yvette Simpson:
So, one of my good friends happened to be hosting a trip to Africa. And that was the first real sign I had that I needed to do something about this, because I went there to support the education team, to work with young people. We brought them tools from America that they didn’t have. We taught them a play, so that they can learn to use the mosquito nets. These kids were brilliant and impressive even at the primary level. Because in Africa, kids aren’t guaranteed to be able to make it to secondary school and certainly not to university. So they teach as much as they can. So they say, you with some so you come in , do you want the math room? I go, oh, they’re doing advanced trigonometry in primary school.
Yvette Simpson:
I was like, uh-uh. Where are we learning English? Where are we learning to write? So I was like, I went into, and spent a lot of time with headmasters in the 3 villages that we work with. And more importantly, when I left, those kids came back with me. And I just mean, I’m working on cases 6 months back, and I’m just like, this isn’t it. There’s so much more. I have to do something. And I didn’t know what. And so you don’t always need to know what.
Yvette Simpson:
You just need to know that. You just need to know that you need to like something. Don’t listen to, don’t ignore that noise in your head, that feeling in your gut that says so I so I, you know, typically, I’d have to have a plan and a backup plan. And I just said, I just need something. And I met with a good friend of mine who’s now passed away who was a great mentor of mine, and she said, Yvette, you can do whatever you wanna do. So by happenstance, Miami University was looking to build a new pre law program. It was my alma mater. They had been reaching out to me many times about ways to get me back to university.
Yvette Simpson:
I was, like, that super student. I got the president’s distinguished service award from Miami University as a senior. How can we get you back? And so that just felt like a great opportunity. Right? We never had a pre law program at Miami. I loved working with students, and young people. I was a mentor. I said, I just need to get out of the noise. I need to step away.
Yvette Simpson:
So I took a 50% pay cut, left the practice of law to go and build this program at Miami University, and it was the best thing I could have ever done. Because when you’re in the thing, you can’t get away from it. And especially when you’re practicing law as a young associate, you’re working nonstop. I’m working weekends. I’m organized. I’m just you don’t have time. So I saw that opportunity as a way to step out, try something different, and maybe I’d get clarity on the long range. And I built that program, ran that program for 5 years.
Yvette Simpson:
And that was when it got quiet enough for me to get the wisdom and inspiration that I was supposed to run for office. And that was when I ran for office. Yes. So by that point, if you count my marketing career in LA, 1, 2, 3. I was on my 3rd, now my 4th turn. So I was already done . There was a woman’s publication in Cincinnati, and I was on the cover. They did a whole a whole, addition on reinvention. And there I am.
Yvette Simpson:
And so I was 27, 28, 29, and had already reinvented myself several times. Yeah. And once you get that muscle, Yeah. Then it’s easier. I think we’re told that you’re supposed to stay in this job, this career forever, and we’re not encouraged to listen to ourselves when we feel that tug to move. And I’ve become very attuned to that tug. And when it calls me, I listen.
Amy Vaughn:
Just move. I love that. You just move. I I think it’s brilliant, and I think that’s why I wanted you to share that story having you know, I know all of our listeners across, you know, the airwaves, whatever you call them for podcasts now, you know, are all over the country. But, you know, being in the Cincinnati area and having kind of seen you kind of move in these ways across the city, across the country, across the years, it’s just it’s amazing, and it’s like you’re showing so many women and modeling for so many that it’s absolutely possible, and there’s no stigma around it. There’s no shame in it. It’s just you feel it, you find it, you do it. Yeah.
Yvette Simpson:
And it’s not without consequence. Like, clearly, taking a 50% pay cut was something that I could afford to do. Mhmm. Something that actually served me because I needed that. That’s when you really realize, like, what’s most important? What do I really need? And I had freedom and happiness for that 5 year period that I had not experienced before and it was meaningful. I mean, I work with over a 1000 students. I mean, in that time that I was able to help make the decision to go to law school, that impact far surpasses anything that I could have measured at that time in my career. So, you know, it’s not without consequence.
Yvette Simpson:
And when I talk to people about this, I say the pursuit of your purpose is this thing that is not only a roller coaster. It doesn’t happen overnight, but you can do it. You can do it. And that’s why part of the book is really about intention. Because I think we’re convinced that, like, somehow we have to do things a certain way, and you don’t. You choose everything you choose to breathe in and breathe out. I mean, I know it’s an involuntary action, but you could just decide whether or not you make a move, you have the ability to do it. And it’s, it’s whether or not you make a move.
Yvette Simpson:
You have the ability to do it. And it’s weeding through and working through all of the things that we feel like we have to hold on to that we need, that keeps us from reinvention and really pursuing our purpose in a meaningful way.
Amy Vaughn:
I love that. Let’s talk a little bit about that then. Your book, On Purpose and the Power of Authenticity and Reinvention, goes into the topic of, in the essence of fulfillment. Can you share what inspired you to write the book? And, let’s just discuss the topic a little bit more.
Yvette Simpson:
So I have reinvented myself. I don’t know how many times now. I think I actually have, like, 7 businesses active at this moment. It’s amazing. Yes. It is joyful. It may not be for everyone. So, like, just know it, know yourself.
Yvette Simpson:
But, I have been coaching, at this point, business owners, political leaders, nonprofit leaders. And I noticed a theme. And the pandemic, I think, really exacerbated that. That there was this shift in mindset from, I go to work and do a job, and then I find my fulfillment in all the things outside of work. There were people who were starting to want to because time is short, limited. Life is certainly not guaranteed. That was all starkly, you know, in front of us with COVID. Because not only are we losing people, but how we do things has changed.
Yvette Simpson:
We had to change everything. And people were starting to wonder, you know, what am I really doing? And that is that kind of break really started to, I think, help people see. You do control more. We can change things because, like, parents were teachers. You know, all of a sudden, you got your kids at home. God bless you. Amen. All the parents out there who were teachers during that time, we all became tech people.
Yvette Simpson:
You know, I was working at ABC, and I became my own production assistant, my own audio person. I had my remote set up in the basement. Like, we all learned different ways to do things. And I think in that moment too of stillness and maybe a little bit more, time for us to reflect, we realized that, like, can I wanna do something different? Like, I wanna find a way to marry my profession and my passion and my purpose all in one thing. How do I do that? And so I started to see this thing. And so because of that, I did a TED talk in the middle of the pandemic, which was real thank you. And after the TED talk, folks are like, you should write a book about this. And I’m like, my medium is audio and TV.
Yvette Simpson:
Like, I’m a talker.
Amy Vaughn:
Yep. Yep.
Yvette Simpson:
I’m a lawyer. I can write. But sitting down and writing a book didn’t seem like something that I would be able to do. So I talked to a friend of mine, and I called her editor for her book and hoped to engage her as a ghostwriter. And she said, Yvette, you can write. Why would you hire a ghostwriter? Write the book, and I’ll edit it for you. Her name is Amy McConnell. She’s a former VP of Simon and Schuster, ghostwriter for HarperCollins.
Yvette Simpson:
She’s amazing. And she said to me, write the book. And so I wrote the book. And she edited the book, and I waited anxiously, you know, to get her feedback. And she said, the book is good. She said just and we thought about traditional publishing. She said, publish the book because you’ve already written it and you don’t wanna have to sacrifice the book. Let’s just, you know, let’s self publish this one or hybrid publish it.
Yvette Simpson:
And then if you wanna traditionally publish future books, then you can do that. So she was just a great partner. Wrote the book and then, didn’t wanna release the book because I was nervous about every single part of it. And, I hope Amy gets to hear this because I love, she’s from Nashville. She has an amazing southern accent. Mhmm. And I said she said, Yvette released the birth baby event. Birth of a baby.
Yvette Simpson:
Birthday.
Amy Vaughn:
You gotta have it.
Yvette Simpson:
Gotta push the baby out.
Amy Vaughn:
You got it.
Yvette Simpson:
This is the reason why babies will come out whether you like it or not. Right. Otherwise holding babies in us. Not wanting to push. So, I released the book, and I’m glad I did. I’m glad I wrote it. So I became an author. And it was a reflection of my own experiences going through the purpose journey, the process I take with reinvention.
Yvette Simpson:
And I had tons of people that I had coached through it, tons of people whose stories actually were more alike than different. That’s why in the book, we have these avatars, which are basically the 2 most prominent types of women I’ve coached through this process. And they reflect hundreds of women
Amy Vaughn:
Oh, interesting.
Yvette Simpson:
That fits these 2 avatars. That’s awesome.
Amy Vaughn:
That’s fantastic. Yeah. We’ll have to include a link in the show notes so everyone can check that book out. And I absolutely agree with you as I would talk to members, nonmembers, women within my network, just folks in general. It was like the pandemic induced either a quarter life or midlife crisis, whether we had we’re at that point in our life or not, like you said, just because of all of us looking at this potential loss of life. You know? It really kind of has had all of us kinda stare down this moment, but also because of isolation and the slower pace of life forced us all to just take a moment and look. And so far as devastating and as difficult as it was in so many ways, I don’t know. I have a lot of folks that are still like, well, in a lot of ways, what kind of and we’re gonna start to see it over the years.
Amy Vaughn:
What kinds of gifts and opportunities did it give? Yeah. Would your book have existed?
Yvette Simpson:
Probably not.
Amy Vaughn:
If no. If that wouldn’t have happened.
Yvette Simpson:
Not at all. I mean, I don’t even think I would have had the space to step out and even think
Amy Vaughn:
about it.
Yvette Simpson:
Right. It gave me the space to do that. My winemaking business came out of that space because I wasn’t traveling as much. So I think, you know, I lost both of my parents in the midst of the pandemic neither from COVID, but in the midst of COVID, which was really challenging. I mean but it did give me that crystal clear perspective. It is like, a lot of people who lost someone either to COVID or during COVID, during that compressed period of time, where we couldn’t you know, I didn’t have as much access to my parents even as they were going through their struggles. My father had cancer, and my mother had a heart condition that popped up in the middle of the pandemic. And so that also, for me, reinforced for me.
Yvette Simpson:
So what we know now, McKinsey did a study recently, and as many as 65% of people now want their work to be connected to their purpose. Yes. They’re demanding
Amy Vaughn:
that. Agree. Agree.
Yvette Simpson:
And so I’m now coaching the workforce. You wanna keep your people, ask them what their purpose is.
Amy Vaughn:
They want yeah.
Yvette Simpson:
Put them in the position to do that.
Amy Vaughn:
Yeah. I definitely agree. I think that was the case prior to COVID, but even more so now. Yeah. We just had a that was our last event actually here for Cincinnati, local chapter. And we brought the Mackie group in, and we had Mackie McNeil herself come and speak and such an awesome lady. And then Sarah Grace, her daughter came and spoke also on our last podcast episode if you wanna go back and listen to her as well. Talking about a little bit of money mindset.
Amy Vaughn:
It has a CPA firm that’s also a b corp. Listen. You can make money and do good. It’s possible. So yeah. Yeah. It gives you cause to hope, and I love, love, love that, especially in the face of a lot of, you know, stress and trauma. And that’s been another thing too is, I’ve been reading and researching and thinking a lot about talking a lot about post traumatic growth as well.
Amy Vaughn:
And that’s been, like, another interesting topic that, you know, I’m hoping to maybe have. We’ve had some clinical psychologists on as well. Doctor Aquina Boateng was a past guest as well. If some of you wanna go back and take a listen, she also refers to some of that too as another great reference. But let’s keep on. We got some more good things to talk about. Alright. So let’s talk about, you know, those good old societal pressures and norms that we all love that can lead us astray from our authentic selves.
Amy Vaughn:
How can we begin to challenge these limiting beliefs and embrace self love?
Yvette Simpson:
Well, I mean, when I talk about authenticity, people think that I’m talking about the way you present to the world. Do I present as someone who is authentic? Not at all. Authenticity is about your relationship to you. Do you exist in a space internally where you feel like you’re you? Do you know yourself? Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you love yourself? And I do these talks, especially with women, and I ask them, you know, how many of you love yourself right now as you are the way not if you lose £5, not if you could sing like Beyonce, not if that man or woman that you’ve been trying to pursue comes into your life. Do you love yourself right now? And I was astounded by the lack of hands raised in the room, even now. And that’s young women. That’s accomplished women and everything in between. And I realized that there’s this deficit of self love.
Yvette Simpson:
Part of that is because we don’t know ourselves, because we don’t value ourselves, and we don’t understand our connection to the world. When I tell people, and I mean this, that the world needs you as you at your best, If I told you that you can love yourself and should love yourself as you are, because we need you as you. You don’t have to be anybody else. And in fact, trying to be someone else is robbing the world of you. 2 Beyonce is way too much. 2 Tay Tay is too much. Right? We need you. And guess what? That job’s already taken.
Yvette Simpson:
And so when I start to I can always see the emotion when I’m doing training and workshop around. What if I told you that you are exactly who you’re supposed to be and your gift is exactly what the world needs? That’s a relief. You know? I don’t have to be anybody else. That gives people permission. The permission you should have to be who you are. Now getting to who you are is a journey. We talk about the 4 s’s in the book, of authenticity. And a big part of that is knowing that you have a position. We’ve talked about s, which is stand.
Yvette Simpson:
Shining your star, acknowledging the things that are good about you, the things you say about yourself, speaking, making sure you’re speaking positive words about yourself. We could do the a, the b, and the c. B is a breakthrough. And we talked about limiting beliefs. Breaking through limiting beliefs and old patterns that keep you stuck. And the breakthrough thing is always the thing that, like, really starts to get people because we all have these things. Michelle Obama, arguably the most powerful woman in the world, certainly the most beautiful and sweet person in the world that I’ve ever come to know, suffers from impostor syndrome. Like, if she can, certainly.
Yvette Simpson:
Of course, we do. Of course, we do. How do you push that down? By seeing yourself as who you really are and loving yourself for who you are. There’s nothing wrong with aspiration. Aspiration is the thing that I dream for myself. I want to be. Affirmation is loving and acknowledging the things that are true about you right now. So by affirming those things in yourself, I am beautiful.
Yvette Simpson:
I am worthy. I am resilient. I’ve got this. I am exactly what the world needs just as I am. Who I am is a gift to the world. There is someone who loves me, and I love myself even if they don’t. But I know that there are people who love me and who care about me, and I receive that love. Those things, when you start to say those things over your spirit, it lifts you and it starts to make you believe it because we’re taking a lot in.
Yvette Simpson:
We’re getting a lot of that external. You’re not good enough. There’s no way you can do that. You’re not pretty enough. You’re not skinny enough. You nobody will ever love you. You have to tell yourself the true and positive things about yourself every day because you’re gonna get so negative. And, unfortunately, our ears, our hearts, and our spirits take in more negativity way more.
Yvette Simpson:
I’ll hear one negative thing. It’ll kick out the 20 positive things I heard. Why are we wired that way? Human nature. Which means we have to do those things. And so and then we talk about change. Change one thing. Just one. Just one.
Yvette Simpson:
Because when you change one thing, then you’ve proven to yourself that you can change everything. And by changing one thing, everything has already changed. Right? If I take one step to the left, my viewpoint and my position is different. The way I see the world is different. And so we have this long laundry list. I gotta change this. Got all my, you know, resolutions that are in the trash by March. Let’s be real.
Yvette Simpson:
Happens to me. I don’t need resolutions. I’m gonna do all these things. Nothing gets to me. So when we change one thing, then we realize that everything can change. I call it the ripple. You know, you put your finger in the water and then I nature. I talked to Tavia Butler.
Yvette Simpson:
Everything you touch, you change. Everything you change, changes you. So change one thing. And by virtue of that, everything changes.
Amy Vaughn:
Yeah. Y’all could just sit here and sit down on a bed all day.
Yvette Simpson:
This is why I
Amy Vaughn:
it was like, I literally chased her down after hearing you speak for the first time. I was like, you need to come and be on this podcast.
Yvette Simpson:
Podcast. You know, there’s something about thank you for saying that, first of all. It means a lot. There’s something about being where you’re supposed to be. Yeah. And I think about every turn I took, all the reinventions that I had that got me here. This is where I belong in this season in my life, doing this work, all the things I’ve learned, all the people I’ve helped in this moment. Mhmm.
Yvette Simpson:
And there’s something about I mean, you can feel it. Yeah. There’s something about when you see someone in their zone doing the thing. And that’s what we need. That’s what I spent. Like, imagine everybody lighting up around the world. You lighten up because you’re doing the thing that you can do, bringing your gift to the world. I could be out there doing 90,000 things at this moment.
Yvette Simpson:
I know that at this moment, this work, all the work that I’m doing is where I’m supposed to be. I’m not. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the joy. Have you ever seen somebody, like, floating when they’re doing the thing that they can do? It’s like watching Beyonce or taking the other like, they’re in the zone. And that feeling is not only infectious, contagious, and what we should be aiming for. Work shouldn’t be a drug a, you know, a drudge and, yeah, I gotta drag myself, and I hate this thing.
Yvette Simpson:
It should be something that lights you up. Because guess what? Light is attractive, and it attracts good and more energy to you. And guess what? The world needs you there. There’s a role for you. There are people waiting for you when we say stand on the x. There are people waiting for you there. And as soon as you get there, they’re gonna be like, oh my gosh. I’m so glad you’re here.
Yvette Simpson:
You’re exactly what I needed to.
Amy Vaughn:
Yes. And that’s such a good feeling, and it’s so affirming. And I think there is a challenge there, though. I think that some people want to go from 0 to that. Yeah. But I wanna bring it back for just a second to where you started, which was that self awareness. And I think one thing I learned, you know, and I think owning and running a business definitely handed me my own ass in so many ways and taught me this is that self awareness is confidence. When you are aware of yourself and you give yourself grace and, like you said, this self love, it does require that sense of true understanding because the person that you are going to be in a relationship with the longest for the time that you’re on this earth is yourself.
Amy Vaughn:
And if you can’t be your own best friend, then, like, how can anybody else love you? And in order to step into that zone of genius, in order to step into your confidence, like, you just really have to know and trust yourself and don’t give away that knowing and, you know, go into those places that are scary. But in order to have that confidence, I think it really does take self awareness and knowing. And a lot of people always ask me, like, you come off as so confident and blah blah blah. And there’s just no big secret. Mhmm. There really is no big secret. It really is just knowing what are my strengths, what are my weaknesses Right. And really being just kind of okay with that No.
Yvette Simpson:
And allowing that. That, but seeing that is your superpower. I talked at the Power to Pursue conference where we were together about patience. I’m not a patient person. So I’ve been asked to do all these things about patience. I’m not your girl. Okay. And patience is a virtue.
Yvette Simpson:
Amen. Not her. But my impatience has changed the world. My insistence on things happening now has changed the world. You and so I’m not going to try to be a patient person. I’m going to try to be patient with people is what I want to do, but not push down the fact that I think the world needs to change and it needs to change right now because we need impatient people. Imagine if some of the biggest world changers in our nation had been like, oh, I can do that tomorrow. Martin Luther King.
Yvette Simpson:
Oh, let me just say, well, we can overcome it in a 100 years. No. Like, we need to do this right now. You know, like, there are people in the world who are impatient, and you need to be in position to be in spaces where your impatience is of value. There are times, like, I want my doctor to be patient. I want teachers to be patient. There’s a reason I’m not a doctor or a teacher. But for world changers, we need you to be in your seat.
Yvette Simpson:
Something’s gotta happen right now because the world needs that. So when we start to realize that even the things that are quote, unquote weaknesses, like impatience, are of value to you. It’s not a negative. Oh, I wish I was more patient. Well, think about the ways that your impatience is helpful. Maybe you’re in the wrong spot. Maybe you need to be doing something where that’s valuable.
Amy Vaughn:
I love it. I agree. I agree. Let’s talk about some more societal norms that seem to hold us back, titles and positions.
Yvette Simpson:
Society. Why society? Why? Yeah. So we’re born into it and it’s emblematic of everything. How do you introduce yourself? I’m Yvette Simpson and I work at I’m Yvette Simpson. I’m a lawyer. Whenever I get that question, it’s like I’m at a table. I’m like, everybody tell us who you are and what you do. As soon as I’m like, okay.
Yvette Simpson:
How much time do you get? I got, like, 7
Amy Vaughn:
things. Right?
Yvette Simpson:
I got 2 of you.
Amy Vaughn:
My business card is actually an 8 5 8a half by 11 piece of paper.
Yvette Simpson:
I have to use a digital card because I got, like, set the digital. I’m like, which business do you think? You got any wine? Here’s that card. You’re in real estate? Here we go. So the fact that we are we are asked to fit into a we’re asked to identify ourselves as a job or a career, and that people will affirm you or maybe reject you based on what you say. It causes us to feel like that’s our value. I work as a chief officer at Procter and Gamble. Whoo. Now I’m gonna take you seriously.
Yvette Simpson:
Right? Shout out to Tom and P and G. People love you. Like, it shouldn’t be that because the reality is is we’re more than that. We’re more than a job. We’re more than a position. You’re more than a title. You have gifts, passions. You have instincts and insight that allows you to be and do so many different things.
Yvette Simpson:
And so you get stuck because you’re like, I’m a lawyer. What would I do if I wasn’t a lawyer? Right? Like, the reality is that you’re more than that. There are skills and gifts that make you a student at being a lawyer that can be used in many different places. And so that’s why people get stuck. We talk about the closed door and the open window, and I’m writing I’m writing open windows now. It’s my second book. Yeah. I’ll send out some good love to your girl because I need to sit my little butt down and write the book.
Yvette Simpson:
But the whole point is that we know the door is closed. Sometimes the door is cracked open and we know we need to close it. And we’re staring at the store and we won’t move because we don’t know who we are. If we’re not that you, if you are so identified with a title, you’re like, who am I? If I’m not that? And the gift that I was given by, you know, wanting to be a lawyer, becoming a lawyer, and realizing that that wasn’t gonna be enough early in my career was that I didn’t say I have to be a lawyer to be a vet. My identity is not tied to that. I am many things. It also gives me the ability to say, okay. In this season, I’m feeling like, you know, we change.
Yvette Simpson:
I used to love jet setting. Honey, put me in a hotel in New York, loving it. Now I’m like, can I do that remote? Yep. Because of getting older, slowing down gives me the ability to then shift and do things, because we talk about lifestyle and really making sure you’re in a space that, like, makes you that accounts for all the things you want. It’s not just about purpose and legacy. Those are important things, but also having a life that actually brings you joy. And so if you’re on a plane all the time, if you just like to be in your bed, honey, let’s reassess this thing. So I like to shift with that and understand that as I get older, I’m gonna want different things.
Yvette Simpson:
And so I need to adjust to that as well. But if society tells you, you are this and you believe that’s all you are, you’ll never move. And that’s unfortunate because I’ve coached people and talked to people who have been in a career, good benefits. This is who I am. I can’t see myself as anything else. And they know they’re supposed to be doing something else, but they can’t figure out how to get from here to there because they don’t know how to not be the person that they’ve been introducing themselves to their whole life. You are you. You’re you, and you can do anything that you desire.
Yvette Simpson:
And maybe the world needs you to do that. So think about that. Mhmm. Yeah.
Amy Vaughn:
Well, and it’s so sad. Right? Because it’s, like, literally, like, self induced walls that are just narratives that you have built up Yeah. Inside your own mind and just, like, doubts, fears, and narratives. But I know some people might see that, you know, pursuing purpose feels like it’s easier said than done. What are some practical steps that you feel like others can take to align their daily lives to their true calling or purpose?
Yvette Simpson:
Well, I think first, making an assessment to do that work about who you are so you know what your purpose is. But once you’ve established that, really think about your life and what you actually need. So when I talk to people and they’re like, well, our kids are in private school, we got this big house. I gotta make this amount of money. Okay. Do you, is that, is that a choice you’ve made? I understand that people have to live, so I’m not asking people to make a jump. I joke about Beyonce when she had to release her job song and everybody started calling me and wanting to release your job. Don’t quit your job if you can’t pay your mortgage.
Yvette Simpson:
Not today. We can make a plan for how you get to a place where you can financially make the shift. So it’s not always fast. I was in a financial place where I could take a 50% pay cut to move. Doing that was great because now I’m in a position where I’m making even more than I would have made if I had stayed. So that fear, that FBA are around, I can’t leave because I need the money, trust, and believe that when you’re in a place using your gift and doing the thing that you wanna do, 1, you will be fulfilled. That’s more valuable than money. Not the money isn’t necessary, but that is valuable.
Yvette Simpson:
Once you get that feeling, you will chase it. I’m chasing it for the rest of my life. And I will find a way because things we think we need, we don’t need. So start to really assess what are the things I really need and am I willing to live the life and do the thing that will bring me joy in order to get it. So I made some real choices about what I really need in order to fulfill this life. Be prepared for the roller coaster. And you can approach a roller coaster like this, or you can approach a roller coaster like this, hands up, mouth wide open. So go into this situation knowing it’s gonna be a roller coaster, but think of it as a ride.
Yvette Simpson:
We’re at the end of it. You’re gonna have these bumps, but at the end of it, you’re gonna feel really great and say, can I do that again? As opposed to, oh, no, we’re going up the hill. We’re going down now. Confronting your fear. And so I think if you feel like every single day you’re going into a job or you’re working in a community or whatever you’re doing, you’re dragging it. The other side of this thing. Oh my gosh. It’s gonna be so good for you, and you will not put a price on that.
Yvette Simpson:
So you’ve gotta begin to make that plan. And so I step through with people’s plans. So I’m at my job now. I wanna start a business. So how do you have a side hustle for 3 years while you start to build your business up while you’re doing this job? My kids are just a few years away from empty nesting. Hey, empty nesters. I feel you. I love you.
Yvette Simpson:
How do I build myself so that when my kids go off, then I’ll be able to do this thing, or maybe it’s something that I can do in tandem. So I don’t assume I know everybody’s individual situation. But what I know is that if you want it bad enough, you will make it happen. You know? And I think that’s what’s hard for people that can’t get from here to there. So I start people with these little exercises, right? Take a different way to work today. You go the same way to work every day, just by taking a different way to work. You realize like I get to choose how I go to work and you get to see a different side of town. You get to see what happens when you change something.
Yvette Simpson:
And then you start thinking, well, now I change something else. And now I’m and then you become addicted to change in a good way because you realize I have control. Maybe I don’t wanna work every single day. Maybe I wanna take a vacation. I’m gonna take a vacation to go somewhere I’ve never been before. It is completely, like, infectious to begin to realize I choose. Brush your teeth with the other hand. Just, I mean, little things.
Amy Vaughn:
It doesn’t have to be
Yvette Simpson:
a big thing. When we start to realize, like, I control every single part at the power to pursue. I told everybody, raise your hand. Put them down. Pick them up. Put it as you just made choices. You decide. And I think this intention piece, which is a big part of the book around how you set your intention and how you take the real steps to get into that place is a big part of it, because we’re not just talking about this ethereal, you know, up in the air purpose.
Yvette Simpson:
Oh, we’re talking about for real. We’re talking about taking real practical steps to then make that happen. Yeah.
Amy Vaughn:
I love it. Well, because yeah. I mean, I think back through it. It was actually during a therapy session. I look back at my days in agency and as a mom of 2 young kids, and I was thinking, like, how did I even get through those days working the hours I did and not sleeping, and I was, like, I was on autopilot. And I think, you know, when we are in survival mode, as many of us are, oftentimes, it is because we just really do try to limit the amount of choices that we make because we have such decision fatigue often. And so we don’t feel motivated or inspired to even think about making any choices, and we surrender ourselves and every possible choice we have from the smallest to sometimes the biggest. Yeah.
Amy Vaughn:
And where does it get us?
Yvette Simpson:
Yeah. Where
Amy Vaughn:
Does it get us?
Yvette Simpson:
We wanna be.
Amy Vaughn:
I look around at our world and society right now, and I’m saying, and not where we wanna be. Yeah. Yeah.
Yvette Simpson:
The world is completely out of balance because we’re not where we’re supposed to be. I mean, that is what I say all the time. We don’t need more. We need people in position doing the thing that only they can do. And if we have that, the world is in balance and has everything it needs. It’s so funny that we don’t talk about the second act until after we retire. Like, we we people people are like, I’m retiring, and now I’m gonna do the thing that I wanna do. Why can’t you do the thing now? Right? And so we all know this thing.
Yvette Simpson:
We live in it. We always just tell ourselves we had to do this thing and slough through it for now. And, you know, I’m not insensitive to the fact, especially young parents, people who have young parents of young kids, you got a lot on your plate. And also, you’re better for your kids when they see you at your best. So maybe you take a beat and say, well, how can I do this differently Oh, yeah? For them and for me. Oh, 100%. Right? Yeah. And it’s not easy, but it is definitely possible.
Amy Vaughn:
It is worth it. I did the same thing you did. It wasn’t a 50% pay cut, but I left a bigger agency, went to a smaller company that had much more work-life balance. I was still working on big clients doing amazing work. I actually liked the structure better and had more, like, autonomy, everything. And I was getting paid, you know, like, maybe 10% less, and it was all worth it. There’s more currency than money. I was coming home.
Amy Vaughn:
I was more balanced with my kids, with my partner. I was just so much happier as a human for the most part. Like, there were still things I was working through, and then even coming into this role and owning and running a small business, yeah, Sacrifices are made, but changes can happen. And, honestly, the person that I’ve become through those challenges and difficulties, it’s all been worth it. You know? It’s not easy. It is not easy, but I think that, like, the legacy that you leave, the lives you impact, and I would hope that the impression that I’ve made for my kids and the model that I’ve been able to make and be for my children too is so much different than what I was before. And I I literally said this, I think, in another interview that I just did yesterday. I’m like, I’m so grateful my kids were too young to remember me when I was in my agency days because I, you know, I I I would say that the people that I worked with still felt that I was very much maybe who I am now, but I feel like I am more of who I am now, more me than I have ever been since I was a kid.
Amy Vaughn:
Yeah. You know? And that’s just a really great place, and I just do. This is why I love listening to you, Yvette, too, because I feel that from you as well, which is why I started with the kid question. And I also remember you answering a similar question at the power to pursue. But, yeah, I really want that, especially for more women. I also had a woman share that with me to talk a lot about, you know, just all things about womanhood. It was in Together Digital, about being postmenopausal Yeah. And how that really changed things for her.
Amy Vaughn:
Right? The kids were grown and out of the house, and she was basically feeling like her prepubescent self. She says, the world has marginalized me. I’ve basically been rendered invisible, which is kind of a cool thing, actually, because now I don’t have to give a flip about what anybody thinks of me. I can kinda just go about doing whatever I’d like, and I have so much energy Yeah. And I’m not affected by my cycle, and I have so much energy. Yeah. And I’m not affected by my cycle. And, yeah, like, I’m just kind of got this new sort of energy about my life and what I wanna do.
Amy Vaughn:
But like you said, it shouldn’t really have to come. You shouldn’t
Yvette Simpson:
I have to wait. And here’s why. We just don’t know that we’re gonna get that time.
Amy Vaughn:
That’s so 100% true.
Yvette Simpson:
And guess what? Why shouldn’t we live our entire lives like this? Somebody told us a real bad lie that work has to be awful. Yeah. That’s why it’s called work. Somebody told me that. I’m like, that is the biggest lie. Agree. It is not true. That you can find joy.
Yvette Simpson:
At work. You should. You should come to work feeling like you are using everything that you have, the gifts that you have. So one of the exercises, I know we got we’re woah. Time. One of the exercises I encourage people to do, especially people who have a lot on their plate. So I know us at the gas station, it takes 15, 20 minutes. Get in a quiet place, your most comfortable place.
Yvette Simpson:
If that’s like soft music, grab your journal, close your eyes for a minute, and just dream about what your life is and what you want your life to be right now. Like, dream it in color, 4 d, what you imagine it. It is an emotional experience. Don’t have any limitations. No, not if the kids were grown, not if I had money, because when we’re kids, we’re asked all the time what you wanna be. Nobody asks adults what we wanna be and say, how are you gonna make a living? What is your profession? What do you do? What do you want for your life? Right? Dream that thing big and then write it down and then make that your life’s work. Make the, take the first step. Just that first step.
Yvette Simpson:
Think about positions on a chessboard. We saw the chessboard out here and made me think about it. When you move a piece, it’s in a different place. That first step, you can’t go from the front to the end without taking several steps. Take the first one. And then your next move is your next step. And then your next step, you can’t, you get overwhelmed because you’re like, I can’t do it. All of it.
Yvette Simpson:
You cannot do it all in one step. You can do it in multiple steps, though. Take the first one. But once you get that dream, baby, in your head, you won’t be able to deny it. But most of us won’t give ourselves even the time. I was like that early on. I would have a great friend of mine who’s a lawyer. He said, what would you do if you weren’t working? Yeah.
Yvette Simpson:
What are your hobbies? I was like,
Amy Vaughn:
not working. What’s hobbies? Hobbies? What are hobbies?
Yvette Simpson:
Like, I had to I was like
Amy Vaughn:
Uh-huh. That was that way.
Yvette Simpson:
I don’t even know what I would mean, like, it’s one thing to know what and not do. I hadn’t even taken time to think about it. Think about what you want your life to be like without limitations and write it down. And then you can work the plan over many steps to get that thing done. And don’t wait because none of us has promised even another minute. And that’s what COVID really taught us is that like, hey. I don’t wanna be at the end of my life and realize I didn’t get to do and be the person I wanted to be. That’s the whole point of this thing.
Yvette Simpson:
Because your company will move on without you. The organization you give it, they will change the name play, baby, change the security code on the computer. They will move on.
Amy Vaughn:
In a heartbeat.
Yvette Simpson:
You have to be protective of yourself because you are the only you you’ve got.
Amy Vaughn:
Yeah.
Yvette Simpson:
And you’re the only you the world has too.
Amy Vaughn:
100%. 100%. Let’s go to that for just a second. For those who are gonna hopefully walk away from this and take some time to practice acceptance, I understand that that can be hard for some. It can be a bit of a challenge. So how can we begin to cultivate more compassion and self loving relationships with ourselves for those who maybe just have never even tried something like this and it feels a little woo? Ourselves for those who maybe just have never even tried something like this and it feels a little
Yvette Simpson:
woo? Yeah. It does feel woo, but it’s also very practical. You know, like I said, we make choices about what we decide about ourselves. Mhmm. And, you know, if we decide that I’m only gonna focus on the things that I don’t like about me, that you’re never going to see the real you, the beautiful, you, the magnetic, you, the resilient, you, the powerful, you, the radiant you, when people start to actually show up the way that they are, you’re like a light. I coach people through work things, but also there’s always this relationship thing that comes up in the book. We talk a little bit about relationships and like, for those of us those of you I’m married now, but those who are seeking a mate, I always say, you know what? Light joy is magnetic and attractive. So when you start showing up as the opportunities come, relationships come, you know, that person that you see that’s shining bright, right? You don’t care what that person does.
Yvette Simpson:
You’re attracted to that person. Be that person. Don’t be afraid. You’re not dimming, your light is not serving the world and it’s not serving you. So know who you are and know how beautiful you are. Reinforce that for you. Right? The things that are, that are negative about you, those things, they’re just the other side of you, and we need that balance. But that is not who you are.
Yvette Simpson:
I’m not patient. God bless America. I’ve talked about this, but I don’t need to be. Yvette Simpson is impatient and accepts that about you. So I think you deserve it. You deserve it. I I did a session and I asked everybody to say I am worthy. And there was a young lady in the back of the room and she couldn’t say I am worthy.
Yvette Simpson:
Broke my heart. Like we are all worthy just in who we are of love and of good things and of grace. Grace, give yourself the grace. Oh, my gosh. You will give grace to every single other person and we’ll be the hardest on ourselves. These are just a few things that you can start to do and talk about yourself as you are, as you introduce yourself, you know, who are you? Who are you? Maybe you don’t answer that question as I work at P&G. Maybe you say, I am a powerful woman who is trying to change the world today.
Amy Vaughn:
A lot.
Yvette Simpson:
Yeah. I got that on my business card. Did you see?
Amy Vaughn:
I mean, that sums it up,
Yvette Simpson:
basically. I mean
Amy Vaughn:
With wine, with law, with policy.
Yvette Simpson:
So I like you know, maybe you change you have a little cute little business card that doesn’t have your title and your job. It’s who you are. Show up as that person, but we’re all worthy. So if you can’t say in your spirit, I’m worthy of love and good things, a good life, I’m worthy of being seen and loved just as I am. That we need to do some work because those are all true things that you just aren’t seeing in yourself and expressing in yourself. So why focus on the things that are negative and not the things that are positive? But we’re all worthy. So I think that’s where we have to give ourselves permission to to really embrace that as society would like us to not do that, and society can take 2 seats. Right.
Yvette Simpson:
Me and society need to break up for real. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t even know who these people are. We’re we’re we’re bowing down to some society that we’ve never met. When they were like, they and them They
Amy Vaughn:
and them. I don’t even know. I don’t even know anymore because I honestly feel like I have just I. I’m gonna brag on myself a little bit here. I think I’ve just spent so much of my time building and supporting and creating a community around me of people that I I know, I trust, I love, I support in return that love, trust, and risk support that when I hear about the day, I’m like, I don’t know. I don’t know these people. They ain’t you. I don’t know. I don’t know.
Yvette Simpson:
I mean, I’m sure they’re out there somewhere, but send a new Christmas card every year. I don’t know about them. And if I did know them, I wouldn’t spend time with them. No. You know my people.
Amy Vaughn:
No. I’m not I’m not giving them my time or my energy any longer. Thanks. Well, actually, that leads nicely into my next question. You are definitely reminding us that we have the power to determine what we do and don’t do. Right. Who we give our time, love, and energy to. Yeah.
Amy Vaughn:
How can we stay grounded in our values and purpose when we are faced with external pressures or expectations?
Yvette Simpson:
I think it’s hard, especially for women.
Amy Vaughn:
Mhmm.
Yvette Simpson:
You know, I think men are given a lot more permission to show up and be whoever they are. No matter how society might think that’s good or bad, they make excuses for that. Women, we have to be all these things, and it’s never enough. You can’t be too strong. You can’t be too soft. You can’t be you know, screw that. You know, I just you know, I was talking to a young lady. I was talking to her real quick in the airport yesterday.
Yvette Simpson:
She’s in her thirties, and we had this long conversation about, you know, all these things she’s going through from 20 to 30. I said, baby, I’m in my forties. I’m about 5 years away from really not caring at all. Like, I’m just like, that’s the beauty. I said, you know, we celebrate youth for all the things that it presents us. Right? Energy, vibrancy, the world is ahead of you, you know, that kind of thing. I take this. I take this age to where I’m like, because the older you get, the more you start to realize that none of these things really do matter.
Yvette Simpson:
And that it’s all a projection. Yeah. It’s all somebody else’s view. My grandmother used to say, what people have to say about you is none of your business. And so if you could deliver the message to you, that’s not you, send it back. You return that thing to the sender. I just stamp it. Uh-huh.
Yvette Simpson:
Sorry. You got the wrong address. That is not the that is not the Yvette Simpson that this was intended for. So you just send in a negative foolishness back to somebody else. And so we just have to realize that we do control what we believe about ourselves, no matter what society says. And it is harder for women. And I think the best thing that we can do is stand in our own power and make sure that people know that we are not a monolith. I love my sisters who are quiet and caring and beautiful.
Yvette Simpson:
God bless them. I need them in my life. I am not her. I’m not trying to be her. Right? There’s value in all the ways that we show up, and we have to declare that, or we have to ignore what everybody else says. So you either have to be oblivious to it, right, or you have to push it against. But if you let that fester in you, you let it internalize you. I mean, I remember, like, somebody would tell me, like, you’re loud.
Yvette Simpson:
I’m like, yeah, I’m loud. I like being loud. You think you just insulted me. You just celebrated me. There is nothing wrong with women being loud without you insulting me. You just celebrated me.
Amy Vaughn:
I love that. I love that.
Yvette Simpson:
You know? And guess what? For folks who say women, you’re not assertive enough. You’re too quiet. You’re we just can’t be. I love that Barbie movie because of that. Like, that, that , that, monologue. And it took me. It sent me because that’s true. You know? Be you, love you, and who you are is exactly who you’re supposed to be.
Yvette Simpson:
The world needs all that. Forget society. You tell society, take that package back because that’s not meant for you. That’s what I would say, honey. But, you know, that’s the beauty of wisdom and being older, and that’s why I wouldn’t trade it. Yes. I wish I had known this and could I guess I can’t always have been like this, but I wish I had have really embraced it when I was younger. And for those moms of daughters, especially Mhmm.
Yvette Simpson:
Build that in those
Amy Vaughn:
girls. Correct.
Yvette Simpson:
Yeah.
Amy Vaughn:
I agree. I remember reading in a magazine article once that talked about each of the decades of life for women, and they had deemed the forties as the age of certainty. And I read it in my twenties, and I was like, I can’t wait to be in my forties. And now that I’m in my forties, I’m, like, really happy and excited to be here.
Yvette Simpson:
Now I wanna be like Amy because I wanna be like Sofia. Like, I’m the goin’ girl. Like, I’m just like Sofia, grab that little person, put it on her arm, and show them that she’s in her room. She doesn’t care. I’m ready to be Sophia.
Amy Vaughn:
Yes. I think I’ve been 80 since I was 10 years old.
Yvette Simpson:
Probably. Very personal arm at it pretty much.
Amy Vaughn:
Tell the world how it is.
Yvette Simpson:
Yeah. Fine.
Amy Vaughn:
And they wanna pretend like it was a stroke that caused that attitude, but no. She’s born that way. Yeah. Alright. I’ve got one more question for you, Yvette, but I want to make sure that our lovely live listening audience knows that if you have a question for Yvette, that you are more than welcome to ask in the chat. And then I see Kaylee, your fantastic my fantastic wing woman has been amazing at dropping all kinds of links for you all to be able to follow. So if you need more of this, which I know you do, you can go and check out all of those links for her YouTube, for her podcast, for her book, for her website. Alright.
Amy Vaughn:
As we strive, Yvette, to live more authentically and purposefully, what role does surrounding ourselves with a supportive community play in this transformative journey?
Yvette Simpson:
Mhmm. Everything. Everything. People. I said this yesterday when I was in Chicago. I went live for a second because I was on Navy Pier and the water and the waves were speaking to me. And I had just come from my Chicago book event where people who I went to college with, I hadn’t seen for a year show up. And I thought, oh, I get to do this because I’ve got a community of people who support and love me.
Yvette Simpson:
People are everything, and it really does matter who you have around you. I started to make real, real critical choices about who I let in my circle. Once I realized that they impacted how I feel about me, how far I can go. You’ve heard this. Oprah says a lot. A lot of people say this, but, like, your community really impacts you. So, since I was a kid, you know, most people know, my mother was mentally ill. My father at the time was addicted to substances.
Yvette Simpson:
Of course, he became sober and stayed sober once I turned 16 and then did a lot of great work in the sober community, helping a lot of people. But when I was younger, my grandmother raised me and I didn’t have a whole lot of people who knew what I wanted to do and who could help support that in a real way. So I started adopting mentors and mamas. Like if I, if I still like, can I have your mama? I just borrow people’s mamas. I just do and aunties. And I know that for so many people, how many nieces and nephews do I have? Because you need people in your corner who really see you, who reminds you, I talk in the book about checking your receipts is a print is kind of a practice. And one of the ways I check my receipts is I talk to my best friend who’s known me forever when I’m feeling insecure, like I can’t do something. She reminds me that I already did that thing, and I did it really well because you forget what you can do when you’re in an intense moment.
Yvette Simpson:
And I’ll say, oh, I gotta speak to a group. But she goes, you spoke to a group that was even bigger than that. You’ve done this. Having people who remember you. And I always check-in with those people, just like I check on myself. Am I still me? Do I feel like I’ve changed in any way? I ask those questions because they hold me accountable to that because the world will have you shift. And I never wanna be anything other than who I am. So have a community of people who love, respect you.
Yvette Simpson:
And one of the ways that you have control over your life is asking people to exit. You know, our relationship is like Marie Kondo, your friend list. Yeah. You have brought me joy. I appreciate the fact that you have been on this journey with me. Thank you. And now I’m gonna pass you on. I just have Marie Kondo in my closet.
Yvette Simpson:
I’m just all over
Amy Vaughn:
right now.
Yvette Simpson:
I love it. I had every piece of clothing. I’m like, thank you so much for putting me through
Amy Vaughn:
these times.
Yvette Simpson:
You are no longer fitting. You make me feel bad about myself. I’m letting you go now. Oh my god. You don’t Do that with your relationships. You don’t have to keep people in your life, particularly if they’re not serving you in this season of your life. You can be grateful for what they were to you, but you don’t have to keep them in your circle. Particularly if, like, I hate going with that person.
Yvette Simpson:
They always bring me down. I gotta have a drink just to hang out. Like, really a hard drink just to be around you, not a fun drink, whatever. Yes. Like, I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. So keep a good community of people who love and respect you, who wanna see you do well around you. And don’t be afraid to tell people.
Yvette Simpson:
I just thank you for being my friend up to this point, but it just doesn’t make sense. And I’ve always said, you know, I can want you to eat, but not at my table. I can want what’s best for you, but not have you sit at the table with me. And I have had people who have been in my life and folks who are just not they’re not where I am now, and I will wish the best for you. I just don’t want you with me at this stage of my life. And I know it’s hard. People probably think that’s harsh. You choose and know that the people around you, your energy, your potential, your trajectory is limited by the people who are in your circle.
Yvette Simpson:
It’s either limited or it’s propelled by the people in your circle. Yeah. Yeah. Time is short. Energy is limited. And my circle has gotten so small. I used to have a lot of it. It’s just gotten so tiny.
Yvette Simpson:
And I used to be like, I ain’t got no time for no friends, no new friends. No. I’m making new friends. Like, new people who have come into my life in this season who serve me here. I still love and respect the people who got me through before. Yeah. But you need a new season. Sometimes new people can come in and be a part of your life at that time.
Amy Vaughn:
Ugh. Yeah. Yvette, this has been so fantastic. Much.
Yvette Simpson:
Thank you
Amy Vaughn:
so much. It does. Always, always, always. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your passion and your enthusiasm and your wisdom and everything. It’s just, again, just as soon as I heard you speak, I was like, okay. We gotta bring her in and share all of this. I really knew that our listeners would find a lot and learn a lot in what you had to say, so I hope all of you continue to follow her. Check out her book and her upcoming book that we look forward to reading as well.
Amy Vaughn:
Yes. And we are so glad that you all decided to join us today. Until next week, I hope you all keep asking, keep giving, and keep growing. Thank you for being here with us today. We appreciate each and every one of you. Bye.
